


[Oldfic] Redemption

by TheFanficMaster



Series: Old fanfics [46]
Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Blood, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 06:43:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8046244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficMaster/pseuds/TheFanficMaster
Summary: [Oldfic] "You're going the wrong way."





	[Oldfic] Redemption

Gilbert quietly shut the door to his room, his coat making the smallest of fluttering sounds as he swept down the hallway like a shadow, something lithe and dangerous, but also gentle and watchful. He was a mix in between, almost as if he'd meant to be one, but the batter had been mixed too much and he ended up a strange combination of both.

As such, Gilbert managed to find his way easily to his favorite balcony in the dark. The moon shone brightly on the light marble gray table and chairs, but Gilbert ignored these and instead opted to lean his body heavily against the railing, his fingers absently groping around his pockets for his cancer sticks.

After he'd found one and lit it up, "Gil" sighed and ran a hand through his misshapen black hair. A headache was pounding through his skull, obliterating any chance he would've had of getting a good nights sleep. Not that he would have anyway. On the following day, they were to leave the Rainsworth household in order to seek out the person they'd been instructed by Duke Barma to find. They would've set out that day, but Sharon insisted on spending one more day until they set out.

Despite the good will on the outside, Gil had seen past her mask. She was trying to be strong, but in reality…she was frightened. Deathly frightened.

…and he could easily guess why she was so frightened. Xerxes Break was a very important individual in Sharon Rainsworth's life. After saving him when he'd returned from the Abyss, they'd eventually become close enough that Sharon sometimes referred to him as "Xerxes-ni." He'd been shocked when he first found out, a few years before Oz had returned from Abyss, but then he slowly started to see it: they really did act like a brother and sister would.

But now, her brother…her "Xerxes-ni" was slipping away from her. The infuriating man was practically watching his own body wither away! And all of it with that damn smile on his face, like he didn't care whether he died at all!

Unconsciously, Gil slammed his fist against the metal railing, closing his eyes with irritation and slight pain (although he wouldn't openly admit it to anyone else). Why was the whole situation with Break bothering him this much? It wasn't like they were friends! Hell, more than half the time Gil had to restrain himself from openly killing the other man! So then why did he feel like he was drowning?

Maybe it was because…he knew that Break was hiding something. When he'd woken up…Gil wasn't able to see clearly, but there was something in that one red eye…a lingering emotion that he hadn't been able to wipe away.

Acceptance.

And that both intrigued and pissed him off all at once. Did Break really think that he could just waltz out of their lives with that damn smile of his and everyone would be happy? Sharon will be devastated and even Oz seemed to have taken a small liking to the hatter.

Gil stomped down the part of him that stubbornly insisted that he'd be upset too. He didn't want to think about what that might mean right then.

Growling lowly in his throat, Gil stomped on the cigarette to put it out and made his way back down the hall. He fully intended to make his way back to his room, but halted halfway down the long corridor when he heard a strange sound.

He held his composure, but kept his body deathly still. There it was again! But this time, it sounded like it was coming closer…it sounded like a muffled cough.

Gil's eyes narrowed and almost instinctively he moved his body to stand right against the wall so as to avoid being seen, not making even the smallest whisper of a noise.

Now the muffled coughing was accompanied by slightly harsh breathing. Gil held his breath, awareness dawning on him.  _'Of course…stubborn bastard shouldn't even be moving yet, let alone out of bed!'_

But he knew that if it was him, he would already be trying to get back on his feet too, so he could at least sympathize with that.

He'd never admit that to anyone, though. Break wasn't the only stubborn bastard.

Gil nearly jumped when Break suddenly appeared in his line of sight, surprisingly still wearing the ridiculous looking pajamas that he'd woken up in. But that wasn't what was strange…

What was strange was that Break was walking barely an inch away from the wall with deliberate slowness, his hand groping along the wall carefully, sort of like a guide. Gil stared with growing confusion. It may have been well passed midnight, but Break should've been able to see well with the amount of light that still stubbornly lit up the dark hallway from the torches and candles. So why was he using the wall to guide himself around?

He was still contemplating this, when Break suddenly halted. His movements were slow but precise and soon, narrowed golden irises met one blood red eye.

"Why Gilbert, I didn't expect to see you awake this late."

Gil's eyes narrowed further as he watched Break purposefully distance himself from the wall, his familiar mad grin filtering across his face as he slowly made his way over to Gil…almost as if he were afraid of going too fast.

"Cut the crap, Break. Why the hell are you out of bed?" Gil demanded, realizing within split seconds that he was never going to get a wink of sleep that night. Oh well, he could sleep in the carriage…that is; if the loud rabbit didn't keep him awake.

"Oooh, is Mr. Tall, dark, and 'ominous' concerned about me?" Break smirked, the sarcasm showing through. "Now why would that be, hm?"

Gil groaned with exasperation. "Just shut up and get back to bed before Sharon wakes up and finds you moving around."

"Eh, is Gilbert trying to boss me around in my own home? Did you forget that I'm your employer, 'Raven'?" Break giggled a bit, twirling around in a circle like he usually did, his sleeves slipping past his hands in an almost dainty manner. Yet, Gil wasn't fooled. He'd obviously used Gil's other name to emphasize his point: don't boss him around.

"Screw…you," He stated bluntly, watching Break's expression change instantly into 'sadness', a few fake tears slipping from his eye.

"Now now, don't be so rude, Gilbert! I'm hurt by your nasty attitude!"

" _Break…"_ Gil was definitely not the most patient man in the world and it was no surprise that he was beginning to lose his temper with Xerxes Break. The maddening man always seemed to know exactly how to piss him off.

Gil was cut off by a hoarse cough. He watched, astonished, as Break covered his mouth with his sleeve, trying to stave off the round of wet coughs that were threatening to protrude from his mouth. He failed however, and a pool of crimson began appearing on the light material.

"Break?" He didn't want to admit that he was alarmed, but it ended up showing in his face anyway. The silver haired man slowly pulled the sleeve away from his face, a few more drops of crimson life slipping past his lips as he examined his bloody sleeve.

"Well damn…"

Gil barely managed to move forward fast enough to catch him before he fell to the floor. "Break?" It was a good thing that everyone else was roomed at the other wing of the house; otherwise he'd be undoubtfully causing a scene.

Break chuckled; sounding slightly maniacal even when small coughs forced their way through. "Concern doesn't suit you, Gilbert. You should stick to brooding in the corner and leave the worrying for someone else."

After being around Break for several years, Gil realized that this was Break's way of telling him not to worry…that he'd be fine. But Gil wasn't about to be fooled by Break's nonchalant behavior.

He tried to keep his hold on the other man, but Break successfully managed to slip from his grasp and began walking in the opposite direction, his hands hanging deliberately at his sides.

"Where are you going?" He found himself questioning, although not entirely sure why he did so.

"To the balcony, I wanted some fresh air," Break responded, waving his sleeve off to the side for emphasis, as if he hadn't just collapsed. "The air in that room is so stale! It seems like the maids haven't been keeping up on their duties! I'll have that fixed soon enough."

Break seemed fine enough now, but Gil was even more disturbed than he'd been before. Because Break…was walking in the exact opposite direction of the balcony.

"Break…"

The man halted, apparently sensing something in his voice for he turned his head to match Gil's gaze. "Yes, Gilbert?"

Gil merely stared for a moment, before realization dawned on him…and only then did he let the words slip past his lips. "You're…going the wrong way."

All at once, the tension between them increased ten fold. Gil watched various emotions flicker through Break's eye, the most prominent being…that damn acceptance. "I see..."

Within seconds, Gil was in front of Break, his hands clamped stubbornly on the other man's shoulders. Break didn't even flinch as Gil stared purposely into his eye, his grip tightening slightly.

"You can't see."

It wasn't a question, so Break didn't answer. He did however, chuckle and brush Gil's hands off his shoulders.

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd finally understand, Gilbert. Not the brightest apple in the bushel, are you?"

Gil didn't respond to Break's taunting. Instead, he just continued staring at the man in shock. "W-Who else knows?"

"Liam-san, and Oz-kun."

"Oz…knows?" Why didn't he tell him if it was something this serious? It wasn't like Oz to keep that to himself…unless he'd planned on telling him eventually?

"I asked him not to tell you, Gilbert," Break added, immediately understanding Gil's internal conflict. "It does not affect our cause, so I didn't want anyone to know."

He'd been about to go on, when he was cut off by a low growl. "W-Why…"

"Hm, is something wrong, Gilbert?"

Break barely had time to blink before he was abruptly shoved against the wall, his wrists captured and slammed on both sides of his face. He had the grace to look slightly shocked for a moment as Gil's low growling erupted into an actual yell.

"Why the hell…do you  _always do this to me?"_

"Gilbert…?" Break glanced to the side, admittedly surprised at the force in which his wrists were being held. Manhandling was something that he had come to expect from time to time, but Gil had never treated him this roughly.

Gil tried in vain to control his breathing as he, to his great chagrin, gave in to the urge to lay his head on Break's shoulder. Despite the bone, the slope was comfortable, and so, he allowed it to linger there as he regained control of himself.

As he did so, he finally came to terms with the situation. How had he ended up pinning Break to the wall? He tried to ignore how good Break's body pelt pressed up against him like this. He wasn't supposed to feel like that, not about Break. He then realized how harshly he was squeezing Break's wrists, unconsciously loosening his hold. He'd never touched them before, but despite knowing that Break was truly deadly, his hands and wrists felt so fragile beneath his touch.

Or…maybe it was because of his health?

Break's eye widened in surprise as he was suddenly yanked into an embrace, his wrists no longer constrained by Gil's hands, which were now wrapped gingerly yet possessively around his waist, almost as if he was afraid to let him go.

"Heh," He breathed, accepting the situation for what it was, even if it was a bit strange. "You're always the same, Gilbert…bottling everything up until you can't take it anymore."

"Don't…lecture me, Break," He resisted the urge to shiver as Gil whispered against his neck, his voice muffled by his pale skin.

"Hm." Break heaved a sigh through his nose, a small content  _real_ yet, bittersweet smile appearing on his face…somewhat similar to the one he'd worn when his secret had been revealed at Duke Barma's place. "Ah, but you're trembling, Gilbert."

"Just tell me…why you don't care." Gilbert spoke suddenly, anger sizzling off of him in waves. "Tell me why you don't give a damn about your own life."

"Hahaha, do you really believe that?" Break chuckled, continuing even as he felt Gil stiffen against him. "Who doesn't care about their own life…Gilbert?"

Gil's eyes widened, his mind moving at a thousand miles per second at his next whispered words.

"It's merely my…redemption."

Gilbert stopped thinking.

Break smiled as a hand tangled in his hair, abruptly yanking him forward to meet a pair of lips, his head tilting upward slightly as their lips melted together in perfect unity.

For Gil, it was almost painful to admit how right this felt…even as the rusty copper taste filled his mouth, reminding him of Break's current state, he didn't pull away.

Why the hell was he kissing Break anyway? Break certainly didn't seem to mind, in fact, Gil could feel the older man smiling against his mouth, putting up no resistance as Gil took what he wanted.

…What he wanted…

Gil slowly pulled away, dipping his head to kiss the blood dribble that Break had never bothered to wipe off. "So that's your redemption…what about mine?"

"Heh, so selfish." Yet, he still smiled…a fake one, but a smile nonetheless.

"Do you still want to go to the balcony?" Gil suddenly asked, pulling away to look Break in the eye.

"Actually, I think I want to go back to bed." Break admitted, his eyes drifting off to the side, intentionally not meeting Gil's gaze.

"Okay." Break blinked as his hand was suddenly grasped and he was being pulled down the hallway.

"Gilbert?"

"I'll lead you there, so you don't…get lost."

Break wasn't exactly sure how he felt about this, but decided to be quiet and let Gil lead him to his destination. After all, he  _would_ get there a lot faster…and it would soothe Gil's obviously troubled mind.

After a few minutes of walking, Gil stopped in front of a door. Break could vaguely make out the shape, but nothing else. He sighed and groped for the knob, successfully managing to wrap his hand around it and yank it open after his third try. He turned to Gil, a grin creeping onto his face. "Gilbert!"

"What?"

Gil blinked as Break managed to pull him down into another kiss, his long fingertips caressing the side of his face even as he pulled away.

"I won't die…so easily."

And then, Break's warmth was gone…and the door shut in his face.

Gil stared at the door for a moment, unsure how he was supposed to feel. On one hand, he was slightly happier at the reassurance…but on the other, he still felt…dare he say it, scared?

Now he understood perfectly how Sharon felt.

"Heh." Gil shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts, turning and beginning to make his way back to his room. At the very least he should try to get an hour of sleep, to avoid worrying Oz…or so he told himself. He didn't want to admit that his mind was merely too exhausted to keep up with him.

Break definitely had that effect on him.


End file.
